


Make a Point to Notice The Colors

by the_queenregent



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Better, M/M, just a tad bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6393469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_queenregent/pseuds/the_queenregent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"First the colors. Then the humans. That's how I usually see things. Or at least, how I try."</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Everybody and their aunt has written their take on how Hux rescued Kylo from the exploding Starkiller Base, but this is mine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make a Point to Notice The Colors

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the prologue of The Book Thief

They say that when you are dying, you see colors differently. More vibrantly. You can hear them, taste them.

As Kylo Ren lies in the snow on Starkiller Base, he thinks he might be dying. The once black-and-white forest has become more than that, even more than a greyscale. He can see blue above him, taste pale grey within him, hear the red in his peripheral vision. The pain has faded, replaced by a bone-chilling cold. Snow on his eyelashes. Blood in his veins, but spilling out, too. The tug of his heart to give in and let himself fade away.

He can see his breathe spilling out into the air, white and blue and red, and the colors of defeat, tasting bitter like loss and cold. His breathing sounds like death, rattling in and out. His vision blurs; the colors shift and blend, then snap back into focus when he blinks.

Next come the humans.

Supposedly, after the colors, you become intensely aware of individual human lives around you. There are no humans around him now; just empty trees and hollow ground, devoid of life. 

The colors suddenly change as he lets out one more breath. First a shock of red, then green, then a thin white face hovering above him. A voice shouting in his ear: 

" _WAKE UP._ "

Hands tugging at his body.

" _REN._ "

Urgent hands and a voice like broken glass.

" _YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE HERE._ "

The colors blur and mix together as his back leaves the snow.

" _I WON'T LET YOU._ "

The person has managed to haul him up into a sitting position and is now saying, a bit quieter: "Ren, please, stand up, I can't carry you by myself!"

He can do this. His vision blurs and his head swims and suddenly the cold is sharp pain. Next thing he knows, he's being pulled to his feet, swaying, tipping over, all the colors are blurring. He's on his feet, but why does it matter? 

Somehow, he manages to take a few steps forward. His face is hanging down, facing the snow, watching the white slowly becoming red.

Once more, the person, whoever it is, is shouting, their tone getting increasingly terrified. "Ren," they're saying, "Ren, _Kylo_ , please, help!"

This person is leading him forward.

Kylo Ren knows that if he lets himself drift off, he will certainly die. Even so, he can't help the dizziness that has overcome him. He feels his eyes flutter shut, and he can hear the person above him screaming; he hears his name, repeated many times, along with many requests to stay alive. Kylo doesn't recognize the voice. He feels like he should. By the time is strikes him, he is already falling into oblivion. 

The colors are back to normal when his eyes next open. Many shades of shiny grey, a splash of white, a patch of red, and two pinpricks of green.

His vision returns first, then the rest of his senses. Very suddenly, he is aware of everything from the flat, hard surface he is lying on to the intense pain all over his body. It threatens to consume him, until the patch of color among the grey speaks.

"Welcome back."

Without his permission, Kylo's head turns. Yes, that color is Hux--tall and grey and white and red, sitting down carefully, as if any movement might tilt the entire ship. There are bloodstains on his usually pristine uniform, and his hair is mussed. Kylo doesn't question any of this. The way he had said those two words was completely deadpan and emotionless.

Both men are silent; Hux because he is waiting for Kylo and Kylo because he doesn't have the strength to speak. Until Kylo closes his eyes and reaches out with his mind. He doesn't say any words. Instead, he projects what he hopes are feelings of gratitude.

He doesn't see Hux stiffen and shift. The gratitude goes through, but along with that are other emotions that probably weren't purposefully included. There's an overwhelming rush of something more than fondness. It catches Hux off guard, despite being a feeling that he himself has felt before… although he doesn't care to admit it.

"That's how you feel?"

Hux gives the words gently, not quite so deadpan this time. Really, he doesn't mean to say it even that way, but the words are already out and it's too late.

Kylo's eyes open and they make eye contact for the first time. 

The colors are back; not in the death way, but in the sparkle of Hux's pale green eyes and vibrant hair. It reminds Kylo of the taste of red and the sound of green, and even if he doesn't actually experience them he imagines it, and suddenly it's like he's back in the forest, black and white and blue and red and--

\--and Hux is catching him, hauling him back onto the metal cot, and Kylo is gasping.

"What was that?" Hux sounds like he is trying to be angry, but he seems more concerned. Scared, even.

With Hux's help, Kylo pushes himself up into a sitting position. He's shocked, for obvious reasons. Had he fallen? Slipped sideways off the cot in a fit of… what?

He voices his concerns, and Hux confirms them. "You went all stiff, and rolled to the side. Almost fell off." His eyes flick down to the floor, then back up to Kylo's face. "You're bleeding."

Kylo shakes his head and closes his eyes again. He shifts slightly, attempting to take the strain off the wound at his side, but is unsuccessful. Unsuccessfully, he tries to stifle a groan. 

"Lay back down," Hux says, gently pushing down on the uninjured shoulder. Kylo lies back without complaint, letting his eyes flutter shut. It feels good, to be frank. The hand doesn't move, even when he's settled down. "Please, just rest. We should arrive at our destination in about three hours."

Kylo has no idea where their so-called 'destination' could be, but at this very moment it doesn't matter. He's safe, he's alive, and so is Hux. Really, that's all he needs; not even for them to be happy. Just together.

Hux starts to say, "I'm going to try to banda--", but he's interrupted. 

"I love you," he says, nearly sobbing, "so much. It's dangerous, I know, I don't care anymore."

He can't see Hux, but he hears the hesitation. "I know." The hand moves from his shoulder to his hair, briefly, then down to his hands. "I know." More confident the second time.

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to leave extra kudos and comments, to congratulate me for doing something in-universe! ;)
> 
> Much love and be sure to check out my other fics,  
> Bee


End file.
